This Is Why You Don’t Get The Guy (or anything else you desperately want)

I love shoes, bags, accessories and all things fashion (because I’m a girl. So I also adore pillow fights and eat ice cream out of the tub without putting on weight, right?!).

But seriously, I do love leather goods, especially designer leather goods.

3 years ago I set my sights on a cornflower blue Prada wallet.

  This is what mine used to look like. Mine’s kinda battered now because really I shouldn’t be allowed nice things but I still love it!

This is what mine used to look like. Mine’s kinda battered now because really I shouldn’t be allowed nice things but I still love it!

Classic, simple, beautiful. And at the time way out of my price range – I was in my first year of business still waiting on tables part time to make ends meet.

So I stated saving, squirreling away spare cash here and there, painting my own nails instead of weekly manicures at the nail bar, eating less frozen yogurt… Real sacrificial stuff!

Until eventually, I bought that wallet home and my life was infinitely better.

Now, this wallet is really no different from any other leather wallet.

Designer, yes but that’s just a badge; an image.

It’s probably made in the same factory as any other leather wallet (I don’t know this for sure! Disclaimer!) and imported on the same freight container.

But it’s perceived value is higher because of the brand and therefore it’s financial value is higher.

Now, on top of that, I had to work hard to obtain said wallet so its value for me suddenly went up even more.

I felt a sense of satisfaction when bought that baby home, and honestly continue to do so every time I whip it open to pull out my credit card (which I should really stop doing).

“Okay okay” I hear you cry. 
Nice wallet. 
What’s the point?”

Well when it comes to dating, business, friendship – any type of relationship really, you need to be a cornflower blue, classic, Prada wallet of high value.

You need to be available to less of the population because of your unique supposed value.

You’re not just some high street chain fake-leather wallet.

You need to be worked hard for because you’re in demand.

  This is NOT my mate Caz. This is Audrey Hepburn. The classiest woman I could think of. She pretty. And classy.

This is NOT my mate Caz. This is Audrey Hepburn. The classiest woman I could think of. She pretty. And classy.

Take for example a friend of mine (fake name alert) Caz.

Caz is the sort of friend who men flock to.

Tall, skinny, beautiful, always wearing something fabulous. (I’m not sure why we’re friends come to think of it). She has no trouble attracting men when we go out.

But when she does, instead of being a Prada wallet, she becomes a K-Mart special, aka, a try hard.

She leeches onto the first guy who offers her a drink, literally tattoos her number onto his arm before he’s even asked for it and doesn’t get the hint when he politely says things like..

“well I should go talk to my friends” 
… “I’d LOVE to meet your friends!!!!”

He senses her desperation, low self-esteem and suspects this leather wallet is, after-all plastic and tacky.

She never gets called the morning after.

I use Caz as an example all the time (she loves it. Okay, she doesn’t know) because she is the perfect illustration of how not to value yourself and therefore, how not to attract anyone or anything.

Now, take a client of mine as a contrast example. Suzie (fake name alert) joined one of my programs (apply for my next one here) and in just a few weeks, went from seeing herself as a plastic K-Mart purse to a stunning, valuable, leather Prada wallet.

The effect was immediate.

She became this confident woman who stopped caring if a guy liked her or not.

Instead of laughing too loudly at his jokes in the hope he’d like her, she knew her worth and was the first to leave the conversation, leaving him wanting more.

She began to see the value in herself and stopped being hung up on proving it to anyone else.

She concentrated her expectations on her own behaviour only and let go of trying to control the behaviour of others.

This power gave her everything she needed to become the sort of woman that men chase after because of her perceived value.

Not only is she now an exclusive creature, not available to anyone and everyone, she also demands that anyone lucky enough to have her needs to work hard for it.

The reward though, is totally worth it and she knows it!

And so now, does her new boyfriend.

If you want to find out how to transform yourself from a K-Mart bargain into a Prada exclusive then jump into my free Facebook group That Crazy Thing Called LIfe where I run free courses regularly.

And remember, Caz may look like Claudia Schiffer but that’s not enough.

Suzie on the other hand, behaves like she’s Claudia Schiffer.

And that’s why she’s no longer single.

Want to know how this also applies to business and client attraction? Check out this YouTube video and subscribe!

  Actually Claudia Schiffer.

Actually Claudia Schiffer.

As for this blog, what did you think? Comment (because then I know what you love and what you don’t. It might not make any difference to what I write about but have an opinion!) and share with a mate who needs to read it (unless it’s my mate Caz!) If you want more (go on, you know you want more) you can have weekly blogs in your inbox by doing this thing!

Also, I’d love it if you would follow me on Insta – you’ll love it too, my stories are kinda funny and demonstrate what it is to be Unashamedly Human (messy, scrappy and unfiltered. I give you permission to be the same. It’s very liberating!) emily_thatcrazythingcalledlife

Thank you very much for reading.

Em x