How To Win The Race Of Life (or at least not crash and burn too badly)

I’m just going to come out and say this. I’m not a massive fan of the horse. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against horses and wish them, nor any other living creature harm. But I just never got the whole horse thing the way some teenage girls do (I had friends who would Gymkhana every weekend but all I wanted to so was sneak off with my best mate to smoke the Marlborough Lights she’d nicked from her Mum’s ciggie packet – I was not a nice teenager.)

It was quite a surprise for me to arrive in the land of Australia seven years ago and find out that horse racing was such a big deal, that every year those residing in the state of Victoria get a holiday for Cup Day – the highlight of the horse racing year. What happens to the rest of the country you ask? Oh they take a day off too but it comes out of their sick leave and everyone pretends like it’s legit.


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Anyway, today is that very day. Melbourne Cup Day! A day where all businesses shut down except for betting shops and sports bars because taxes pay sick pay and we all need somewhere to congregate to watch a creature race to a finish line. It neither excites me nor repulses me as a sport but as the fascinators, nude wedges and fake tan sales rise I am reminded of a tale I once heard motivational speaker and all round wonder woman, Lisa Nichols once speak (and if you hadn’t guessed it, it involves a horse. Actually, two…)

Life is like one big horse race and we dear readers are the jockeys.

We have but one task.

To finish the race as best we can.

But the challenge is we are riding two horses simultaneously and the trick is to keep our right foot in the stirrup of one horse, and the left foot in the stirrup of another.

Finish the race balanced between both horses and you’ve won!

 Heads up - I suggest listening to The Horses by Daryl Braithwaite to get the real effect of this blog! You’re welcome! Heads up – I suggest listening to The Horses by Daryl Braithwaite to get the real effect of this blog! You’re welcome!

Let’s look at the first horse – we’ll call it Free Will.

This horse is many hands (did I get that right?) tall and has a determined look on its face. It is strong and powerful and has great speed and stamina. Do not be fooled though, for this horse can tire. No animal is endless and this beast too has only so much to give. But, let this horse hesitate, look around too much, get all caught up in what other horses in other races are doing and you’ll find yourself flogging a dead horse. You’ll feel exhausted, unmotivated and never satisfied. Let this horse rest too much and you’ll begin to feel totally out of control and like you have no choice. It will begin to feel like the world is out to get you, that nothing goes your way and that other people’s horses are bullying yours (this is never the case. You and you alone are in control of your horses.) Learn when to lean on this horse and you’ll get shit done. Your relationships will improve, your bank balance will reflect your hard work and you’ll feel on purpose.

The second horse is another breed altogether – we’ll call this horse Faith.

Faith is the horse that rides like a whisper on the wind. It often pulls, and neighs so loudly we mistake it’s whine as movement in the night, co incidence, luck. Bad luck even. Faith cares not for the other horses on the track. It cares not for the finish line or the win. This horse unlike its counterpart is endless. It is the smile on the lips of a newborn baby, it is the leaf blazing in gold as the season turns, it is the love for another which outlives the human form. Without this horse, the twists and turns in the track will feel disadvantaged, unfair and often cruel. You’ll feel alone, misunderstood and lost as you pull on Free Will only to turn in circles. Faith is the horse which pulls in a way that makes you feel like life isn’t working out sometimes. It’s the disappointment you felt when you got outbid on your dream house, it’s the gut-wrenching heartache of a relationship that didn’t work out, the shock of the redundancy you didn’t see coming. Hold onto Faith in these times and you will find that the business you started as a result of your redundancy pay out led you to meet the wo/man of your dreams with whom you bought an even better house. This is Faith leading the charge. But do not fall into the trap of relying solely on Faith for that is a fool’s game. You will become lazy, blind to opportunity and eventually out of control of your own race.

No, the trick to life is to exercise both Free Will and Faith simultaneously, learning when to lean into one horse more than the other. It is a balancing act which honestly, I used to get very wrong and led me to disappear, depression and debt. Three years ago, I decided I couldn’t ride the race the way I had been any longer – I was about to fall to the ground.

So I began to whip my horses and over time, I have learnt how to navigate this crazy race called life.  Because I’m a messy, scrappy human I still find myself leaning a little off skew but am learning to do better and my relationships, bank balance and heart are better off for it.

My clients come to me because they are out of balance on their horses. They feel unsure of which way to turn, a victim of other Jockeys racing on different tracks and exhausted from indecision. I help them find balance in the race. If you’re interested in finding out more, jump over to my FREE Facebook group That Crazy Thing Called Life where I’ll be running a FREE video course towards the end of this month sharing some tangible tricks and tools to help you restore the balance and take back the reins of your life.

Until then, please feel free to share this blog with your fellow Jockeys, subscribe here if you fancy weekly doses of love in your inbox and thank you very much for reading.

Love, Em x

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