Truth be told I ate too many Quality Street over Christmas.
And mince pies.
And all of it.
I just ate all of it.
No regrets it was bloody glorious.
But yesterday I dragged my wobblier-than-normal ass back to the gym. And fuck me, it was awful. Not because of the squats or the music (why do they play such obnoxious music in gyms? Answers on a postcard please!) but because it was full of the New Year New Me Brigade (NYNMB).
You know them and maybe you’re even one of them, I know I sure as heck used to be.
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The NYNMB are not normal gym goers. They are brand spanking new to the gym floor and enthusiastic beyond belief, going hard at weights they can’t lift properly, telling themselves they’re never drinking on a school night ever again not even for Caz’s birthday next Wednesday and pretending that the lettuce leaf they ate for lunch filled them right up!
They are driven into a new way of being on a wave of hysteria, flimsy resolution and some jacked up hope that as the calendar flicked over to a new year, some cellular neurology shifted and they’re now “new” and so capable of harvesting “new” results instantly.
But guess where the vast majority of the NYNMB are, come February 7th?
Yep, sitting on the sofa having retired their Lycra, their meal plans and their enthusiasm claiming “the diet starts on Monday”.
It’s a cycle as predictable as the ocean and it doesn’t stop at gyms.
Healthy eating, getting to work on time, only drinking 3 drinks on any given night out, leaving Kev for the last and final time, calling Gran more regularly, remembering birthdays, relaxing more, working harder, being kinder, meditating more – the list goes on and in all honesty towards the end of 2018 I too caught my inner narrative saying “next year I’ll…”.
But guess what!
At the stroke of midnight (unless you’re Cinder-fucking-ella or very, very high) no Fairy Godmother waved her magic wand and you, me, Kev and the rest of the world was no different.
Yet, we make a resolution to change our behaviour overnight and often to real extremities, shocking our systems, minds and identities into meltdown which ultimately sees us sitting back on the sofa with Kev, ignoring calls from Gran whose birthday might have been yesterday and whoops there goes another year!
In the quick fix society which impresses the need for instant results, a new year’s resolution is an attractive idea. It promises that future You will mop up current You’s mess and so it’s okay to excuse current You’s shitty behaviour, sloppy effort and crappy results.
It’s a dangerous myth and leads to inaction, disappointment and destructive behaviour.
In other words, new year’s resolutions don’t work, the magic pill you’re seeking doesn’t exist and yes I do still think Kev is a royal prick!
Well now I’ve painted that bleak picture for you, let me extend some hope.
5 Keys To Changing Habits And Getting Results
1. It doesn’t happen overnight.
Not for me, not for you, not for Oprah (which is a good thing because if Oprah is not blessed with superpowers and she’s just a regular human like you and me, anything is possible for us).
2. The only difference between something happening and something not happening is doing it.
So don’t put anything off until tomorrow, don’t start the diet on Monday and stop wasting time like you’re here forever. Every single moment is an opportunity to make something new happen, to think a different thought, to do the thing that scares the shit out of you and continually reinvent yourself.
3. Resistance is normal.
Start listening to your feelings but don’t accept them. Excuses, procrastination and comparison weave together in an elegant cloth that fear uses to cloak itself. Most of us feel this ickyness and assume it’s weakness, defeat or warning and allow it to pull us back into our regular routine and habitual ways of being. Push through it.
Override those voices. Seek evidence of success. Learn lessons. Be compassionate to your soul. Seek guidance and support. Surround yourself with others who are taking massive fucking action and achieving results.
You can’t always change your first thought but be sure to take ownership of your second thought.
4. Make sure the change you want is for you, and not what others think, want or expect for you.
This is a skill. And it’s okay to fuck it up.
5. You’ll fuck it up.
It’s inevitable. You’re human. But just because you skipped a gym session and had a bottle of wine on Wednesday night at Caz’s birthday drinks doesn’t mean you throw your hands up to the sky and sit in your cloak of fear until the dawn of a new year. Get back up. Or nothing will change.
If you want to know more about how I help my clients transform their lives, relationships and business by taking charge of their mindset then you’re in luck!
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As always I’d love you forever if you gave this a share and please leave a comment – conversations are so much more interesting than me just ranting on so let me know your thoughts.
Thank you very much for reading, Em x