How To Build Trust With Yourself

In August 2018, I made a promise to myself.
That every single week for an entire year, I would publish a written blog every Tuesday. 
(stay with me, this gets better!)

There were to be no excuses. 

It didn’t matter if it was my birthday (and yes, my birthday does land on a Tuesday this year, it’s 23rd April just so you know and I accept diamonds, cash and not much else – stick to the list. Always stick to the list!), or if it was Christmas or if I was on holiday. I could write in advance and schedule the publication, but for 52 consecutive weeks, I would write and publish a blog a week.

There were 3 reasons for this decision (and no, none of them are because I’m mental although I do understand to some of you, forcing yourself to write on the weekly sounds bat-shit!)

1. I love writing.

But in the noisy confusion of life it’s easy to neglect a skill, laying it to waste.
The most talented people aren’t always the people with the most talent. 
They’re the ones who are willing to practice the most. 
A pianist masters the keys through daily commitment to her music. 
A comedian trials his jokes to deafening silence in small back-end comic lounges before his standing ovation in sold out theatres. 
Your asshole ex-boyfriend has been practicing being a dick on the daily for years! 
What we don’t exercise, we allow to diminish in power. 
Want to be better at sales? Make more sales calls. 
Want to be a better swimmer? Swim more. 
Me? I wanted to be a better writer.

2. The Book.

I knew I wanted to write a book (seriously, this fucking book! If you have ever written a book you deserve a bloody medal and potentially some kind of cash reward equivalent to that of JK Rowling’s. And if you are JK Rowling – because why wouldn’t she be reading my blogs? – you deserve to be Queen of all of the world). 
In order to write a book, one needs to identify as a writer.
Now, I know I could’ve just declared myself a writer and sat down to pump out the world’s most amazing book ever, as described by Oprah herself (what? If I don’t imagine it could be so then it never will be!) but I wanted this book to be excellent. 
I want this book to be excellent. 
This book will be excellent. 
This book is excellent. 
And I knew my mediocre abilities would only ever be marginally better than decent, if I didn’t start practicing and proving to myself that I could indeed, write.

3. I am always building trust in me.

I am always proving myself to me. 
I keep my word to myself. 
And promising myself I’d write 52 blogs over 52 consecutive weeks was another way to build trust with myself and to prove my capabilities to myself. 
You see, success isn’t what you see on social media. 
Success is what you don’t see. 
It’s how someone is showing up when no one is looking, when no one cares if she does or doesn’t publish a blog. 
Success is an inside job that eventually, with enough dedication manifests in external results. 
So part of this challenge was me proving me to me.

But this week, I came really close to not publishing. 

I am tired. 

I have a huge (self-imposed) workload and honestly, who would’ve noticed. 

The 12 people who actually read these blogs probably aren’t wondering why its 9.15 on a Tuesday night and they haven’t had their weekly dose of Emily’s written words yet. 

No one else gives a shit. 

But I do. 

I have to back me. 

I have to show up for me. 

I have to keep my promises to me. 

That, is the key to success. 

That, is the foundation of self-love. 

And it is that thinking that had me sit down and write this blog. 

I trust it served you as much as it served me. 

20 blogs to go!